We are not defined by our cards but by how we play them. Stay motivated with our April illustrated calendar, available to download and print in portrait or landscape. See our complete collection of 2025 printable calendars for even more options.
We all get different starting points in life. Some people seem to have it made, while others have to struggle. Most of us get a strange, shifting mix. No matter where we start, life can change dramatically. We often face circumstances we couldn’t predict or control.
Even though most of life is out of our control, there are a lot of cultural undercurrents that suggest otherwise. We get messages full of pressure, laden with expectations about what we ought to be or achieve. It’s easy to internalize the messages that we should be able to life turn out a certain way. Then we feel bad when we can’t manage to do it. We begin to doubt our worth.
That kind of thinking doesn’t serve us well. It leads to dead-end roads of comparison and artificial goals. A better mindset separates our circumstances, which we can’t control, from our choices. This mindset shows us where our true power lies: in our daily choices.
The false call of comparison
It’s easy to get distracted by what everyone else is doing. And it’s easy to let that distraction become something else: A sense of failure. But comparing your whole life to someone else’s highlights isn’t fair. We know our own struggles so well, sometimes that’s all we see. Comparison amplifies the sense that others have it together, have it easy, and we’re falling behind.
The more we feel behind, the more we want to compare to figure out how to catch up. It turns into a trap. The more time we spend there, the worse we feel and the more disconnected we get from our own experiences.
A better choice: Put all that energy into something different, like thinking about what you enjoy, what you value, what you want to put into the world.
Then start looking at the options you have, and the actions you can take.
Spending your energy wishing you had a different hand is just time you’re not spending learning how to play the one you’ve got. And no one wins that game.
The allure of artificial goals
When we talk about “making an impact,” most people picture something flashy or materially tangible. Recognition, awards, achievements; money, luxury, even fame.
Those artificial goals are often a distraction from what does matter.
Real impact looks like noticing others. Offering support. Being kind even when it isn’t convenient. Giving attention, building relationships, and caring about something other than yourself.
That attention and care extends: From personal relationships, to daily interactions, to work, to our larger communities. When you put kindness into your personal life, you benefit from stronger relationships. When you put courtesy into small interactions, you make things better for every person you encounter. When you put care into your work and community, you notice details others miss. You find ways to offer your unique perspective and improve what’s missing. You think about the impact of what you’re doing and building. You’re able to adjust, adapt, and align with your values no matter what you’re part of, because everything you do comes from who you are.
It won’t always earn applause. But it matters.
The fantasy of the future
You don’t control everything. But you do get to choose how you respond, how you show up, and what you move toward.
It’s tempting to wait for better circumstances. Or to set arbitrary milestones: “Once I fix this part of my life, then I’ll really start living.” Funny, isn’t it? If you reach one milestone, another one appears, further down the road.
Don’t let the fantasy of someday keep you from the real opportunities of today, right now.
The sooner you accept where you are, the sooner you can get to work making something worthwhile out of it. Sure, you can make all the plans you want–they can be motivating! But you don’t have to rely on a grand vision or a five-year plan to live with intention and joy. You just need to pay attention and make one good choice at a time.
Some days that choice might be to rest. Other days it’s to speak up, show up, take action, or change direction.
Tiny choices, over time, become a whole life.
The power of your choices
All your choices—especially the boring, everyday ones—shape who you are internally and what your life becomes. You don’t get to pick your starting point; no one does. You can’t control what happens to you; no one can. But you can control how you respond, and that’s what matters. It’s how you define who you are to yourself and to others. It’s what makes life satisfying, and it’s what creates impact over time.
The ever-changing circumstances of life aren’t the most important thing about you. What you do with the power you have, though? That’s where things get interesting.
It’s not about the cards we have, but how we choose to play them.
